Bob is frantic. He is running from door to door, only to find out that they are locked shut. “This can’t be happening to me,” Bob says to himself as he finds another locked door. His desperation is setting in. As he rushes past the break room, he grabs a stack of napkins. He looks around frantically as he moves towards Bill’s cubicle. He makes one quick look around, and then squats down.
Bob mutters to himself, “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” as he undoes his belt. He peaks out of the cubicle one more time to make sure he is alone then drops his pants. Bob barely has time to squat over Bill’s trash can as he let slip the dogs of war.
Bob let out a cry, “Chinese food, why have you forsaken me!” Just then, Bob gets startled by a sound. It is the bell of the elevator. Bob peeks out of the cubicle and sees Fred and Frank nonchalantly walk off of the elevator discussing the Super Bowl from last night.
“What did I tell you, Fred? Seriously, how many times did I tell you?”
Fred looks over at Frank, disgusted. “Shut up, Frank. It could have happened to any team, now get over it.”
Frank laughs. “But it didn’t happen to any team. It happened to the favorite to win. You know, your team, Green Bay. And remember that bet you made me, if Cincinnati wins, you’ll pay me a dollar for every point they beat Green Bay by?”
Frank and Fred are getting closer to Bob. Bob is frantically trying to clean himself off and make a clean getaway. In his haste, Bob knocks over the trash can, getting liquified General Tso’s Chicken all over the floor. “Shit!” Bob silently yells to himself as he pulls his pants up. As he tries to stand up, Bob stumbles and stomps through the mud, tracking it all over the cubicle.
“Yes, Fed says,” I know I owe you 83 dollars, stop…” Fred pauses. “Do you smell that?”
Both men stop in their track and sniff. “Oh God! What died in here!” Frank yells as he covers his nose with his arm. With this said, Bob bolts from Bill’s cubicle and makes a mad dash for the stairs, spreading the remains of General Tso like a last wish all over the floor.
As Bob runs, he looks behind him to see if Frank or Fred noticed his escape, or the funeral pyre. This was a mistake as Bob runs right into the stairwell door falling over into his trail of poo. This time Bob yells “Shit!” out loud and not to himself. Fred looks over to Bob and starts to walk his way to see if he is OK.
“It smells like it’s coming from Bill’s cubicle,” says Frank as he turns to look in. That’s when the pungent smell hits Frank like a ton of bricks. Frank starts to vomit all over the floor. Hearing this, Fred turns around to see what’s wrong. Then the combined smell of processed Chinese food along with McDonald’s McRib sandwich hits Fred. He begins to vomit all over Frank in a scene that appears to be inspired by the Family Guy episode where the Griffins drink Syrup of Ipecac.
Bob gets up off the floor, covered partially in feces that he tracked through the office and partially from feces he accidentally dumped on himself as he knocked over the trash can. He looks back to see if Frank and Fred have identified him. He notices that they’re too busy making room in their stomachs for more food. He opens the door and makes his way to the parking garage.
On his way out to his car, Bob starts to get more and more sick as he keeps smelling his own poo all over him. As Bob walks he starts to take off his clothing. One piece at a time, Bob starts to slowly get naked. Bob is now at his car, naked as the day he came into the world. He unlocks his car, gets in, and drives off into the sunset.
