My last escalation of the night the guy wanted me to call Samsung to waste their time. No, that’s not me editorializing. Those were his exact words. He can’t uninstall an app from his phone after an update, and he wants me to waste my time and Samsung’s. I advised him, like any sane person would, I can’t transfer him to Samsung for that reason, but I can provide him with Samsung’s number so that he may contact them regarding his issue. Does he say sure and go on his merry way?
Of course not. That wouldn’t make for an awesome story now, would it? His reasoning is that if I call them, it will be documented by AT&T and by Samsung that this was a stupid idea to automatically install applications on an update that you cannot install and that more people will do it and they will stop doing it, because large multinational corporations bow down to 5 year olds and Cartoon villains.
He kept wanting to remind me that he couldn’t be the only person who has problems with apps you can’t uninstall. I wanted, so badly, to tell him “No, you’re not the only one. You’re just the only dumb mother fucker who thinks throwing a tantrum will fix it.” He honestly thinks that by him calling in, that Samsung Rep, who would most likely hang up, is going to document why he called in. What would they document?
Customer is self-important
Customer is delusional
Customer is possibly Cobra Commander
Simpsons did it!
Why bother documenting?
At this point, he is demanding that I be an accessory to interstate harassment, which I’m sure is some sort of felony on some books. He then wants to argue semantics and states I can transfer him, I just don’t want to. He was right, I very well could transfer him to Samsung, and I really didn’t want to do so. I have no call metrics, I don’t have to worry about my call transfers at all. I could transfer him to Samsung if I really wanted to be an asshole. In fact, I should have transferred him to Samsung and dropped off the line. Could have avoided the entire mess but no, I am not going to play his silly reindeer games and indulge his delusions. So I tell him to stop insulting me, because at this time he is starting to treat me like the child he has been acting this entire time and insulting my integrity. He then gets very defensive, claiming he didn’t insult me rather than ask how he was insulting me. I advise him one more time I am unable to transfer him to Samsung for a subject that is not an issue and in fact working as designed and he hangs up on me.
Why the fuck didn’t I just cold transfer him to Samsung in the first minute of the call, and avoid the entire mess? Probably because I haven’t posted in a while.